10 Lessons I've Learned in 30 Years
10 Lessons I've Learned in 30 Years
So today is my 30th birthday. Happy birthday to me! Yaaaay! If I’m to be completely honest I was a bundle of mixed emotions about turning 30. I was feeling overwhelmed and flustered. And then I realized I wasn’t very happy with much of my life. Cue the existential crisis. Cue feeling like I’m behind in life.
I think we all can agree that 2020 has been one helluva year so far. Month after month there just seems to be disaster after disaster. And then with covid 19 coming to change things so much for us, it just seemed like it wasn’t going to end. Even now that things have calmed down somewhat, we still feel a loom of possible disaster in the background. So imagine turning 30 and feeling like so many things just weren’t going right and not feeling like you want to burden your loved ones with your issues because there is soooo much more going on in the world. Yep and that’s exactly how I have been feeling. A bit battered, a bit broken and a bit alone trying to sort through it all. There I said it. And now that I’ve bared my soul with you all or at least scratched the surface, let’s get on to the post.
You see I love lists. Lists help to remove the clutter. List help to organized the thoughts. I use lists to remind me of what I need to do and what I need to focus on. I use list to ease my worries and calm my nervousness whenever I’m facing a challenge. I used lists to remind me why I’m great whenever I’m going through heartbreaks. And today I’m using this list to share with you just a few life lessons I’ve learnt these past 30 years. It’s how I make sense of all the mess and overwhelm. It’s how I’ll share a bit of my story today.
Time heals all wounds (once you let it).
Time is the great healer of many things but you my friends have to be allowing and open to let it do it’s stuff. If you keep living in the past, then you won’t get to the other side because you’re stuck focusing on the hurt rather than the lesson.
You have to love yourself first always and in all ways.
As humans, especially as women we are born nurturers and companions. We seek to support others and oftentimes we do it at the expense of ourselves. We do it because we love and when we love and care about others we want to do our best for them. We want to care for them and make sure everything is good for them. But what happens when we pour from an empty cup? When we fail to love ourselves. When we use others as our crutches for love. We never truly tap into the amazing love that is meant for ourselves.
Great love and great achievement involves great risk.
I don’t remember where I saw this quote but I definitely find it to be true. The best love stories tend to involve people who are willing to risk heartache and heartbreak for promise of true love. And the greatest innovators and creators of our time have always been thought of as being risky when they put forth their ideas. Just remember a risk can also be calculated and it doesn’t have to be something that hurts someone else to do it. I’ve loved, I’ve lost. I’ve failed, I’ve conquered. But I regret it not and if given the chance, I’d do it all over again.
Your energy introduces you before you do.
Newton’s 3rd law states that energy is neither lost nor gained but transferred from one body to the next. And it’s not only true in physics, it’s true in everyday life too. Someone ever enters are room and all of a sudden everything is so gloomy and down and you can just feel their negative energy pummeling at you? Conversely, you know that person who is just so warm that as soon as they enter a room, everything feels calm and happy? That’s energy baby. It’s transferable and it’s ever-present. It’s the reason why those who preach law of attraction and manifestation preach so much about energy and vibration. This is a hard lesson that I’m still learning but I’m definitely working on boosting my energy.
For every loss, don’t lose the lesson.
I don’t know about you but I have taken some major ‘Ls’ in my life. In my career, my family, my love life, my finances, friendship, blogging. Just about everything. You name it, I’ve probably had a lost in that area. But in every seemingly bad thing or loss in our lives, there’s always something to learn. It’s how I have been trying to approach life more and more lately. I f-ed up or was f-ed over but that just means I need to look back, reflect and learn the lessons that was prepared for me. It’s how we grow, move forward and not end up doing the same shit over and over again. No risk, no reward.
If you’re going through hell keep going
Much akin to time heals all wounds, whenever you’re going through a tough or rough time just keep going. Nothing bad lasts forever. The bad times will eventually shift and in the end you’ll come out stronger and better than ever. Remember pressure makes diamonds. Note: this does not include abusive relationships. Get the fuck out of those.
Good friends better than pocket money
There’s a saying that goes, if you have one good friend then you are wealthier than most. I don’t know about anyone else but I love my friends. I have some absolutely amazing people in my life and I truly cherish them, They are the support systems that pick me up during my hardest times and they keep me grounded. They are shoulders to cry on and people to laugh and celebrate with. If you have good people in your life, truly cherish and appreciate them.
The only thing you can control in the world is yourself.
As a control freak and frequent reciter of the serenity prayer this one hits straight though the heart. We have no control over anything in our lives except ourselves. We can’t control our family, our friends, our children, our significant others, our careers (we can put in the work and do the best thing but if covid has taught us anything is even good workers and great careers can get derailed), other people’s perception of us. We can’t control any of it. All we can do is control ourselves, our thoughts, our perspectives, our feelings and our reaction to things. We can control how we act and the effort we put in and oftentimes effort leads to great outcomes, but sometime it doesn’t and it’s how we pick ourselves up after failures that determines how our lives are. Whether we have a generally good life or a generally sad life. It’s up to us to choose but it’s not in our control.
You are responsible for your own happiness
It’s easy for us to blame others for things that don’t go the way we want to in life. To blame others for the reason we aren’t happy. But our happiness is in our control. We are in control of our thoughts, feelings and emotions. We control our own happiness because it comes from within and not from what others give us. Yes things and people can make us happy but only to an extent. True happiness comes from our own internal supply. And that’s why there are some people who no matter how crazy the world seems are always happy. Because they have figured out that the secret to true happiness is themselves. The only path is the one we create for ourselves.
Just live life
Life is happening anyways so you might as well live it. We can worry about it. We can cry about it. We can just go through the motions of everyday life. Or, you can get out and truly live life. Embrace life as the adventure that it is and just live. Don’t let worries overpower you. Don’t let your happenings ruing your happiness. Don’t let fears hold you back. Forgive yourself and others for mistakes, big or small. Embrace the possibilities and live life to the best of your ability.
I’ve shared my life lessons. What are some of yours? I’d love to hear from you so leave it in the comments down below.